My housemate received this in the mail the other day:

‘What is it?’ I hear you ask with eager anticipation. Well I’ll tell you.
It’s a letter from Telstra advertising their new bill layout. Using buzzwords like ’streamlined’ and ‘new-look’ to invoke an excitement about having a bill that no longer includes itemised calling.  Vintage Telstra. ‘Hey, we’re giving you less and here’s why’: the environment. Yes, that good old excuse now being rolled out by companies who realise ‘cost-cutting’ and ‘cheaper for us’ just don’t cut it.

Here’s an idea Telstra: if you really care about the environment how about NOT mailing 2 pieces of paper to every customer in a separate envelope…

The letter goes on to say that “once you start receiving your new-look bills, if you need a printed statement of all itemised calls, you can also call us and we’ll mail it to you“.  So now you can get *2* bills in *2* envelopes each month.  Why don’t you just burn the trees Telstra?  It would be faster.

You can also go on-line and fill in a form to change back to your original detailed bill.  The form does ask you a reason for the change and at this point I would encourage customers to ignore the ‘Need detailed bill to claim expenses‘ and ‘Prefer detailed paper bill‘ options and instead select ‘Other‘, then type in the reason “I hate trees” just to see if Telstra honours your right to discriminate against flora.

The majority of people have one feeling in their body stronger than that of environmental compassion.  I am, of course, referring to laziness.  Telstra realises this and does the next best thing - don’t want to save the environment?  How about winning some crap?  Change over to their electronic billing (which will save all those trees that Telstra has to print their 50c stamps on) and you are in the draw for a Seven Wonders of Australia trip.

The funny thing about the picture they use to advertise the trip is, last time I checked, Andrew Daddo was not one of the Seven Wonders of Australia.

He’d be number 10 max…

the Andrew Daddo part literally made me LOL.